8 years Dream & 8 Years Doa'

Since 14, my mind can’t get rid of it. It keeps play in my mind, strong or slow. Sinking deeply or about to float. Nevertheless, still in that circle. Shadowed by it almost every single day, even until now.   

Still vividly in my mind when my ex-roommate said,

"Isn't it amazing that we can make it here? It's unbelievable."

My respond however, was a little bit pathetic to some people i guess.

 "I don't know. I felt nothing."

Then I talked about this with another friend of mine to which her respond makes me realize the real truth inside me.

"It's only your body is here but your soul is there, isn't?"

Yeah. It is. I admit it. How can I deny it when it plays almost everyday  inside me?

Up until now, it'd been 8 years. To bear it for 8 years is hard for me.

Sometimes I try to look for the information regarding it, especially the pictures in the internet, just to comfort my anxious heart.

There are also times when I tried to avoid it just like I do right now so that I wouldn't keep myself in sorrow.

This 8 years dream I believe, wouldn't fade easily. I kept repeat to myself that I will be there, insya Allah. 

Because I believe Allah is listening to my 8 years dream, my 8 years doa'. Amin~